Episode 40: Behind the Flips
Dick and Johnson are two woke rednecks, who have achieved fame by saving the world many times, from threats of every kind. They have traveled the globe, space, and even time, made countless friends, and enriched so many lives along the way. They have also done more flips than you even know about. What do you even know about flips? But after forty years of ass kicking, how much do we really know about America's greatest heroes? Who are these agents/scientists/artists/philanthropists/champion wrestlers/amateur gator farmers/nutrigenomicists? Who are Dick and Johnson? This is Behind the Flips. The Lost Son Splazzh had been picking cans off of the streets when he met Dick and Johnson on one of their regular Flip-Tickle Tuesdays. The two were flipping along the highway and tickling each other in competitive fun, and, unlike most people, Splazh did not disapprove and instead felt drawn towards the two friends. Dick and Johnson felt a similar sympathy for Splasz and decided to hire him to sort food cans in their home and also agreed to adopt him. Splesh took on the last name Ridson, but had never learned his birth name and believed his parents to be Mole People. With the goal of finding out the truth about his origin, he and his new foster parents set out to find the truth. It was in the middle of a fight with the Mole People that Splargh learned that his parents were not Mole People. Fueled by paternal instincts, Dick and Johnson managed to hold off the attackers for the time being, though the fight did not yet seem to go in their favor as the Mole People surrounded them. United States v. Ridson Some years later (though by Johnson's count, only three weeks), Dick and Johnson found themselves in court, defending Splizh from the charge of murder. He was suspected to have ripped off a man's head. In secret, Splash confesses his guilt to his dads; nevertheless, Dick gave a passionate opening speech claiming Sqadz' innocence, and Johnson vouched for his son's virtuousness. Lothar, the King of the Mole People, was then called into the stance, and, through cunning cross-examination, Dick and Johnson tricked him into painting himself as the murderer. Dick and Johnson: Apocalypse Splaj went on to become a US senator, while also playing a crucial role in mending the relationship between Dick and Johnson, which had suffered tremendously within the previous five years. On top of this personal tragedy, a volcano-alien apocalypse was also hindering Spladsh from passing vital legislations. He tricked his fathers into meeting in the same room to get the two to talk out their problems. Also, a Lindsay Lohan clone was there. With both of his parents present, Splazsh revealed that only he, his personal clone, and Lindsay Lohan—but not her clone "Lindsay Clohan"—knew a secret message that is hidden in the fine print of the United States' Constitution. He also confessed that he was mortally ill, having somehow lost his legs. His lower body was only being held together by robot legs and the pants he was wearing. This series of tragic revelations led Dick to realize that his best friend had been suffering from clinical depression the last few years and he promised to stand by his side from now on. Reunited, the three looked towards an uncertain future, but with the knowledge that, as a family, they would love and support each other. Poles on Poles on Poles on Poles In a battle against the Polar Mole People, also known as the Pole People, who constantly pole vault but never flip, Dick and Johnson were called to the South Pole to aid the Polish army. The Pole People were in the middle of an assault on an arctic outpost which held an important scientific MacGuffin. Splasj had secretly joined them by hiding in their trunk and, as he explained himself to his fathers, was hit by a freeze ray. Johnson broke his son out of the ice and Spladsh attempted to use psychic powers he felt he had gained. On the battlefield, they were challenged by Sub-Low-Thar, King of the Pole People, who wanted to take revenge for the false imprisonment of King Lothar. Seeing his father Dick grabbed by the mole king, Splazs' power was unlocked alongside Johnson's, who had somehow gained the same powers, and they turned the mole king's eyes into ice cubes. Revenge of the Moles Later again, the Magmoles, led by their king Hot-Thar, attacked the capital to avenge all of their previously fallen mole brethren. Spludsh believed it was time to reveal the secret message of the Constitution to his fathers, but only a limited number of people in the world were allowed to know it, and so either he, his clone, or the Lindsay Lohan clone needed to be killed first. Dick and Johnson implored their son not to become a ruthless killer, as they have always wished for him to better the world in peaceful, non-violent ways. Since they also refused to allow him to sacrifice himself, they instead resigned to not knowing the secret. Spledzh however did inform the two that a bill he had proposed was essential to his plan, but was being opposed by Senator John McCain. At the same time, they spotted McCain conspiring with Hot-Thar, the King of the attacking Magmoles. Dick and Johnson confronted the apparent traitor, only to find him a mole-controlled robot. They destroyed the robot, after learning that the real Senator McCain was being held captive inside a volcano. With Splegh's help, they then quickly took down Hot-Thar the same way Sub-Low-Thar had been killed and took a tank-taxi, a tankxi, to the volcano. As the tankxi got increasingly covered in Magmoles throwing themselves at the vehicle, the heroes remained unwavering in their resolve to keep moving and to save the senator and the world once more. Where are they now? After forty years, Dick and Johnson are now in semi-retirement, saving the world only once a month as opposed to daily, and have taken up other hobbies. Dick enjoys painting, while Johnson has built a life-sized replica of the oceans out of toothpicks. Sblish, after having served two terms as a senator, is on the road with a traveling band, hoping to achieve his life long dream of riding a bear. In a first time meeting after many years, Dick reveals to Splatzh that he has found Splash' true heritage: he is in fact the son of both Dick and Johnson. During one of their time travel adventures, both had a child with the same woman simultaneously. As his fathers pronounce him a miracle in more than one way, Splazzh embraces his dads and, with a surge of his miracle powers, turns all three of them young again. Behind the Scenes The Mole People have previously appeared as antagonists, first called "Mole Mens," in episode 36, the second season's first episode.